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Tales from the Girl’s Bathroom: The Warm and Fuzzies

Caroline Frentz, Contributing Author

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Louisiana sweater weather is upon us and with it comes flu season, but there’s another illness going around that can rival the infamous Ascension plague…the “warm and fuzzies.”

Symptoms include (but are not limited to): fatigue, daydreaming, excessive peppermint mocha consumption, urge to hand hold, repeated viewing of Love Actually, uncontrollable humming of Michael Buble’s “Cold December Night”, and bulk buying fuzzy socks.

While my immune system is strong, I wish I could say the same about my heart, which eventually fell prey to that “love bug” the Jonas Brothers warned me about. It frustrated me to my core because I knew that the changing season should not change my mind on the fact that I’m a strong independent woman who does not need a man. Just because it’s cold outside does not mean that I need the warm cuddles of a boy to keep me warm when I can just buy a super cute and trendy jacket (and that’s exactly what I did at Gap on Black Friday for fifty percent off).

Clearly, this issue is an impending immediate danger to the student body, which brings me to my next question: how can we go about tackling this epidemic? While I’m no “love doctor”, I did have an epiphany. We shouldn’t be making ourselves sick over finding a winter cuddle buddy; we should put all of the time and effort in our friendships and bettering ourselves. The time spent thinking about how gorgeous an anonymous Romeo’s hair is could be time spent complimenting my gorgeous best friend (or studying for math…but that’s an entirely different issue). I strongly believe that solidarity should not only last until the next season or boyfriend. We should be putting energy into baking cookies with our gal pals and belting “Jingle Bell Rock” while doing the Mean Girls choreography we all have memorized. I pinky swear that those cookies with the snowmen on them are way sweeter than any guy and no slow dance can compare to sugar-induced dance moves to the classic Christmas jam.

The strong independent woman inside of me wants to believe that by tomorrow all feelings for aforementioned Romeo will dissipate, although the hopeless romantic inside of me knows that come tomorrow morning, I will be wishing we were strolling around a Christmas tree farm, and that is okay. While I disapprove of the disease, it’s one I’ve most definitely fallen ill too, seasonally, since I was introduced to Ryan Gosling at the early age of 8. My immune system has grown accustomed to this seasonal virus, and I’ve tried every remedy known to man, but I think I’ve finally found a decent cure and wanted to spread the word. The “warm and fuzzy” epidemic can continue to flood the Ascension halls (though preferably not near locker 139A) if treated with proper care, meaning that we should reevaluate what we’re doing and prioritize important relationships present in our lives instead of putting excess time and effort into those that cease to exist outside of daydreams.

One final note to all of the lovebirds out there, go duet “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and kiss under the mistletoe, doctor’s orders! I’ll be living vicariously through you and your Instagram posts.

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Tales from the Girl’s Bathroom: The Warm and Fuzzies