The Authored Ascension

Mr. Anderson.

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Mr. Anderson.

Quinn Billeaud, Staff Writer

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Mr. Anderson is a special sort of dude. He’s super chill, super helpful, he’s a great math teacher, and he’s got this awesome Mad Scientist look to him. His chalk stained corduroy pants are legendary and his tie selection is truly iconic. Even if you’ve never had him as a teacher before, you know he’s got a different one for everyday of the year.

My calc class loves this dude and is eager to get any details about his epic life out of him. We also just love to see him smile, so we always ask about the ties. He recently told us that he has never bought a tie in his entire life. This is truly baffling because he hasn’t repeated ties yet this year. Our class was in shock and bombarded him with too many questions at once, but he eventually answered all of them at once with this simple statement: “I’m a man. My mother bought me clothes, then my wife, then my students, then my daughter. If people didn’t buy me things, I wouldn’t have clothes.” Legendary.

Later I asked him which was his favorite tie and he originally said he couldn’t choose, but he then changed his mind. He said he got a tie-dye tie from his daughter’s wedding that he’s really fond of, and to this I responded, “Wow tie-dye ties at a wedding. That’s unique,” and he said, “Yeah you got to make ’em fun. Most of them are just like funerals.” Based on this alone I think it’s fair to conclude that his offspring is just as perfectly weird as he is.

Marry Chrysler Mr. Anderson – our Calc class.

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Mr. Anderson.