Have you ever thought about how inside you’re nothing? Your insides are black. The only color is the red blood that flows through you.

Everything else is hollow.

I have no conscience. I’m a walking shell that enjoys listening to the sounds of heart beats and looking at the curves of a brain. Do you know how messed up that is?

She’s the only reason for my existence for now. She’s the only thing that keeps my shell intact. The funny part is that she has no idea. She doesn’t know how happy her smile makes me. My heart beats faster every time I see her. Her sitting near me makes my skin crawl. My brain pulses with chemicals. The only word that ever comes to mind when she’s around is, “Wow”.

I wonder how someone can be so happy. I want to be happy. For her.

// i wonder how her organs would look in my hands

No. That’s terrible. I wonder how her lips would feel against mine. That’s better.

// i wonder how her skin would look on a lampshade

No. I can’t think that.

//ill mess it up for you

I’ve been to therapy. I’m not going back. The sheer sight of lightning makes me cringe.

“Hey, are you doing anything tonight?” she asked.

I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. I don’t know. “No”, I finally stammered out, “Why?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house and watch some movies? I’ll make popcorn and everything.”

This is normal. This is normal. Say yes like any normal person would.

“Sure, sounds fun. Should I bring any movies?”

“Yeah! Any movies you think would be good. But no horror movies, I hate those.”

//ill give you a horror show

“I’ll see you tonight, okay?” She ran off.

//tonight is the night

No. Tonight is not the night. This is a date. That’s not something you do on a date. You cuddle and kiss on a date. You don’t touch a girl’s skin ever so tenderly and whisper in her ear how you’d like to rip it off. I’d have to go back if that’s what happened. I can’t go back.
I put the voice in the back of my head. I wasn’t going to blow it.

I arrived at her house with a couple of movies in hand. I rang the doorbell. It took her a couple of minutes but she finally opened the door.

“Hey!” she said. “Come on in.” She saw the movies in my hand and took them. “Ah, I can’t believe you actually brought some! I love–”. Her voice trailed off in my mind. I looked around her house. Her walls were lined with pictures of family and friends. I picked up one of her and a friend. Blood appeared on near her face and trickled down. No

//do it now is your chance to see your precious crush organs in your hands

I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” she said.

“Yeah.” I put the picture down. It made a puddle of blood on her counter. “Let’s start watching those movies, huh?”

//if you wont do it i will

“Alright!” She went to her DVD player and put in some 80’s movie. Typical.

She sat down next to me on the couch. During the movie she tried to cuddle with me. What do I do? Do I put my arm around her? Or should I just sit here and act casual? No, then she’d think I hate her.

//you should skin her alive

I ended up putting my arm around her.

“Hey” she said.

I looked down to her face. Her lips all of a sudden met mine.

Everything turned red. A dark red. Blood red.

This couldn’t happen to her. Not to a girl like her. I couldn’t let it happen.

//its my turn now buddy

//////////I took over. I was up to bat and boy, it was going to be a home run. I pushed the girl off me, smiling. I ran my hands up her stomach and her spine soon finding my way to her neck. She moaned. Hah, does she think this is romantic? Pathetic. My fingers tightened around her throat. Her eyes opened and her pupils became wide. She tried so hard to fight it and, believe me, it was adorable. She soon got quiet. I loosened my grip and laid her down on the floor. I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. The knife’s point touched her chest. This is my favorite part. I cut her open. I dug around, feeling the blood all over my fingers. I snickered. I finally reached the heart and let my hand rest on it. God, I love that feeling. This is what makes bodies not shells. One organ. I took my hand out and wondered what else I could do. I really wanted to see her brain,but that’d be a lot of work. I glanced over at her mouth. Perfect. I opened it up and stared at her pretty, white teeth. I pulled them all out. I’ll make a necklace. It’ll look like pearls. What else do I do with the body? I could get some skin, but I don’t know what I’d make. Maybe some shoes? Oh, a back pack would be nice. Her hair. A nice wig? Hm wouldn’t hurt to have it around the house. I scalped her. Such beautiful red hair. It was so long. The blood made it even more beautiful. I stuffed everything in to his back pack. When he sees what I did, he’ll freak. I glanced over at the girl and saw a large chunk of her skin missing on her head. Maybe I could get to her br–

I came back to my senses. Her body laid there, a bloody mess. I glanced in my bag and saw what he had done.

Not again.